DD Review: Guilty As Sin

Wait, I don't get it, why did the thing with the stuff happen.

When last we left DareDevil and his Lady friend Elektra, they were standing atop a pit that was generally classified as "Bottomless". In Manhattan. Note: In Manhattan. Who would like a brief architecture and structures lesson:

The reason why buildings are so tall in Manhattan is because the Island is a solid Rock... which means... it's damn near impossible to fucking drill in Manhattan

- Signed, Logical People

Oh wait, this is the story about a not really blind man being all blind and punching people in the face to protect a theoretical Hell's Kitchen from... I'm gonna say "Not Hipsters"? Cause in reality, Blind people are blind. Also, someone has to protect Hell's Kitchen from Hipsters. Actually, everyone everywhere needs to be protected from Hipsters. Well, maybe not, how much power could they...

Noah Baumbach... What have you done!

Noah Baumbach... What have you done!

Oh Dear God! This man belongs on Sunday night television criticizing Lena Dunham's lack of maturity, not in blockbusters picking up the mantle from one supreme ruler in a fantastical land. DareDevil! Save Us All!

No so, there's totally this bottomless pit as per the engineering of the Yakuza and then there's... well, Ninja Yakuza, and then Stick comes back to save the day, and then there's talk about feel

Wait! The fuck is Stick doing back?

Yeah about that, so it turns out that Stick isn't merely a sexual predator missing a windowless van who finds young blind folk to "train". It turns out, he's also a Ninja or something who fights off the South East Asians in his spare time whilst leading a cult perhaps:

Oh Hollywood, you White-Wash all your Troubles Away

Yeah, so... for the confused

DareDevil and Lady DareDevil (except crazy-pants) are standing a top a hole that couldn't possibly exist when they are attacked my Ninjas, and Lady DareDevil (Very Crazy Woman-Person) is mortally wounded when who should drop down from the sky to save the day... but a different blind person who has no interest in saving Hell's Kitchen from Hipsters, at all. (Actually, he might, this might be a universal problem - stupid Adam Driver, go back to telling Ben Stiller he's old in that Mumble-Core movie about documentary ethics - THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE GOOD FOR!)

This episode got stupid. Sorry, I'm afraid it did. See, in the real world, and granted, this is not the real world, what would be a satisfying story arch would be if Elektra was simply unstable and at the Advent of the DareDevil ventured back to New York to claim what she felt was "hers". Another-words, she was quite willing to leave Matt when she designated him as weak when he won't kill Rossco, but now that she see's he's all shiny red pajama ninja, she thinks "Oh, I need to have the mating session with him, together we can make fantastic Ninja Babies that would also have the benefit of sight".

From there, you can easily turn this into the story of a young man, haunted by previously beautiful and toxic love interest, hemorrhaging all that he built for himself till the moment that he learns from The Punisher and takes control of his life again rather than become the cautionary tale before him, namely Frank Castle.

Yeah, they're not doing that. I don't know, Stick (with his equally stupid name) is apparently a warrior Jesus (he actually insinuated and made this specific reference, not I) and he's enlisted Elektra to help him take down The Hand, a war that's been waged for some hundreds of years, but now it's too be fought in New York. Sooooo.... it's Batman

Yeah, Batman

Stick = Ras Al Ghul

Elektra = Talia Al Ghul

DareDevil = Mayor Quincy Sharp

But Ian, you see, Talia was Ras' daughter! So therefore, your entire parallel drawing goes out the window and you're a terrible person who quite possibly is a white supremacist.

First off, no internet person, not everyone on the internet that says something you might not like can be simply designated as a horrendous archetype to satisfy your rage. (Did you see the part before when I called out Hollywood White-Washing?)

Secondly, by that logic, the word DareDevil, is not "Batman". But I mean, c'mon, what are doing here? So not overlying arch about how Matt realizes that Karen is a sweet girl that could make him happy one day? No story about how he remembers why he fought blindness such that he passes the Bar and returns to his humble firm to represent the disenfranchised from their slum lords?

No, what do we get instead? Umm, Elektra is very into killing people in horrible ways and sprays a youngun's blood all over her proposed lover's face when the opportunity should present itself because she is pure evil and a sociopath.

But, that's not interesting. I've seen that before. Damn you, DareDevil. I wanted the story where Matt realizes that she's engineering reasons for them to be in close proximity, not the story about evil-leaning White Man in South East Asia Ninja Jesus and his war against not White People. This is Season 4 of Dora the Explorer all over again!

 

Oh, Also Fisk is back and making deals with Punisher. If anyone cared.

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